The world at large does not take grief over pet loss as seriously as grief over the loss of a human relative or friend, and a grieving pet owner can be made to feel as though they are overreacting. It is perfectly acceptable to feel a deep sense of loss and sadness when a beloved pet dies, and there are ways to say goodbye to your pet and remember him or her that will help you deal with the loss.
On the other hand, watching a pet slowly decline over weeks or months can be hard, and making the decision to euthanize your much-loved companion can be agonizing.
Whether sudden or prepared, there are decisions to make when your pet dies. If your animal is euthanized, do you want to be with the pet when it occurs, or say your goodbyes and leave your pet in the vet’s hands?
Do you prefer to bury your pet, have it cremated or turn it over to the vet for disposal? It is helpful to consider such decisions ahead of time when you are calm and less emotional than in the heat of the moment.
If you are trying to decide if it is time to euthanize an elderly or ill pet, look at the quality of life. Is the pet in constant pain? Are there still “good times” among the bad times? If the answer is no, then you may wish to make an appointment several days or a week out, and spend the time before then with your pet as much as possible.
Feed it favorite treats, do the things it likes and can still do such as cuddling, petting, etc. Take photos to remember him or her by. If possible, clear your calendar of other obligations for the day before and day after so that you can have time to grieve privately.
No matter what well-meaning friends and relatives say, it is not silly or self-indulgent to mourn for your companion. Cry, get mad, do whatever you need to do to experience your grief and get through it. If you are not getting emotional support from people around you, there are support groups both in person and online where you can communicate with people who will understand and sympathize with what you are going through.
After your pet is gone, many people find it hard to see their belongings around–their bowl, bed, toys, etc. If it is too painful for you to do so, have a friend gather up the things to discard or donate to an animal shelter or rescue. You may wish to keep one special toy as a memorial.
As time passes, it can be healing to make a memorial for your pet. You might make photo album or scrapbook where you can collect favorite photos and write down your memories. If you buried your pet or had it cremated, you may wish to get a small personalized stone or urn; in fact, some people have memorial stones in their home or in their garden even if they did not keep the actual pet remains.
Finally, take your time in considering whether and when to adopt another pet. A pet adopted impulsively with the expectation it will replace your lost pet can disappoint your expectations, or you simply may not be ready. Other people find it healing to immediately bring another pet into their home from a shelter or rescue group.
If you are not sure whether you are ready for a new pet, consider fostering for a rescue group. Many foster people enjoy the process of helping a dog or cat get ready for its new permanent home, and it is certainly common for someone fostering a pet to go on to adopt it.